Adventure by Ollie

A Search for Purpose in a Random World


October 2014

A Witchy Moment: or One Girl’s Attempt to Defy Reality: Day Four of the (wait, where did day three go?)


So far, I’m doing very well in school, but just to share with you the struggles I’m plagued with here is an excerpt from my journal:

“Class is in Session – and I’m headed full steam, bulldozer style into my future.  I’ve set very high standards for myself, and sharply elbow doubt every chance I can.  BUT…I’ve hit a wall that won’t bust.  I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong.  I can’t focus, and I’m loosing steam.  Wasting energy worrying about an assignment I’m unsure if I can ace.  Wouldn’t it be okay to just pass?  No.  I want better for myself. I want better for those I love. I’m insecure. Wondering (and not wanting to find out) if I really don’t have what it takes.

But this is the girl I am – the girl who has turned overachievement into a hobby, and it motivates me to action when I would otherwise spend the weekend on the couch eating ice cream and watching “New Girl” reruns.”

Grades: 96, 93, 100,100, 97….

tick, tick, tick the minutes on the clock

tap, tap, tap the post it notes

A Witchy Moment: or One Crazy Girl’s Attempt to Defy Reality: Day Two (extra-early)


Yesterday’s alarm brutally sounded at 5:00 AM – the hour of ungodliness.  I woke, or rather fell out of bed trying to silence the alarm demon, tripped over sheets tangled around my feet, and hit my head on the night stand.  I beat the alarm with an ugly stick,…well…maybe I dreamt that part.  Even if it had been a dream, I now need a new clock.  It took twelve cups of coffee to ignite my neuronal engine, enabling me to attempt my first day’s smile (I exaggerate – I only drank ten cups of coffee).  I began to feel like my old, quirky self.

Then I remembered the reason my alarm had been set for 5:00 AM on a Saturday morning – it was the first day of class!  As I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I had to stop and wonder how the previous month’s decisions had resulted in today’s actions – the humble post it notes flapping on the wall still remain, since I’d been too busy to visit my lovely monster recently.  I had written words – symbols really, on a post-it note, and those symbols (or words, to be pedantical) became actions, became changes, became my life.

It’s amazing, isn’t it?

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